Dear Hubby, My Love Awaits

By Cassandra N. Vincent

At one point, it was MY ULTIMATE goal. Marriage. I talked about it, dreamed about it, got mad about not having it, and eventually the thought of it annoyed me. The desire that was once such a pleasant thought eventually became an aching reminder of the desire that was not yet fulfilled and seemed so far off.

It was that want for affection from another person, to be in partnership with an equally loving person as I was, and to experience matrimony that was authentic even its most valley-like moments. Marriage in my mind was definitely not perfect, I had a beautiful example in my parents. I was not expecting the perfect man, but I was expecting a blessing in the man I would eventually marry.

Since the age of 21, marriage was one of the goals, more of a deep desire, that I was set on. When it didn't happen at 21 I waited and counted down to 24. When 24 came I just KNEW it would happen before 30---surely because at this point I hadn't dated for 5 years, I was in church EVERY Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday! SURELY this kept, praying, Sanctified young lady would be 'found' by her mate before her 30th birthday.

No, but "it" didn't happen. I was not "found" by my dear hubby.

"GOD! ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Ha! Yes I questioned every bit of the God I served about this desire now "thorn in my side". What happened in the next few years was shear humor, a mound of dating woes and dating no's. After a year and a half of non-stop dating, I experienced absolute burn out and heart break, but gained a load of knowledge about my wants.

Fast forward to today at 30-something-and-a-half, I am completely liberated of the idea that 'love won't manifest in my life any time soon'. As a matter of fact, love is very present because 'I found love inside of me first'. This epiphany has in turn allowed me to grasp hold of the truth that my dear hubby is developing and being prepared for me as I was for him. This liberation in my heart and spirit has released me from fear, pressure to rush, the need to settle, but has graced me with peace and wisdom to look to God.

Despite all of my bad dating experiences, one of the major practices that helped me get through some of the mental while waiting on my, "Dear Hubby" was to write down all of the attributes I wanted him to possess. I mean EVERY detail. This activity was a true blessing because just journaling his attributes made me happy. Some people set an extra plate setting for their dear hubby, others write love notes to him, I chose to write my vision of him.   Do what works for you!

In early 2014, I wrote a vision of my "Dear Hubby" and at the end of 2014 I began dating a very phenomenally-spirited man who fully embodies that vision. {I'm sure I'll be giving a delightful update soon}. Until then here's what I've learned about this journey & the power of your vision:

  • Dating seriously helps you discover what you DO/DON'T want in a mate.
  • Time is valuable so that on some levels we grow into the people our future mates need as a partners.
  • The condition of one's heart is so key in "being ready" to receive the love and challenges that come with any relationship.
  • When a woman (or man) becomes LIBERATED from tragic dating experiences, pain, and poor relationship choices -- love seems to be given and received with much more ease.
  • The power of vision helps strengthen the heart.
  • The power of words, intentions, and actions are essential. What you believe and practice is what creates the life and love you desire.

Here's to Love & Liberation!


Cassandra N. Vincent is a speaker, blogger, and advocate for women living life fully and liberated. Cassandra blogs at