Lifestyle

Looking For Adam (Video)

This is one of the sweetest things a son could do for his mom. I loved watching his video and seeing how active his mom is in LIVING her life! Regardless of the fact that she doesn't have a husband, she is still enjoying herself and doing the things she likes to do. She isn't sitting around somewhere pining away for a husband and waiting for him to arrive before she gets out and does those things. She's doing them NOW, without him. As a result, she will attract the man who enjoys the same things. So that later, they will have wonderful things in common to do together.

I would like to introduce you to my mother, Eva, who´s single and deserves a good man. If you are that man or know someone who could be, than please contact us at: icouldbeadam@gmail.com

The other thing to note is the fact that mom's age has not stopped her from leading a very active life. Keep living folks! Love is everywhere you are. Love happens as you encounter others. Love is YOU. It's all just so LOVEly!

This woman's life is truly a love letter to her Dear Hubby. Kudos to her son for recording it!

Don't Believe the Lies About Valentine's Day!

Who told you Valentine's Day was just for romantic lovers? What is this ridiculousness about S.A.D--"Single Awareness Day"??? Remember in elementary school, writing your name on the back of those little miniature cards with the thin, almost see through envelopes and addressing them to EVERYONE in the class? And what about giving your teacher the one "special" card labeled "teacher" that came inside every box? Your sister and brother got a card... mom, dad, and grandma too! And then somewhere along the years it happened...you were told a whole bunch of negativity about the day designated to show love to others. All of a sudden the day was commercialized. As you got older, it was a day only meant for romance.

So, what if you don't have a romantic partner? Or should I say, SO WHAT if you don't have a romantic partner!! You are still able to participate. There is no need to go wallowing around mad and saying things like, "I'm in mourning."  Stoppit! Do not believe all of the negativity that other folks are feeding you. Take back your Valentine's Day and and instead of making it about lovers, BE a lover of LOVE. Celebrate ALL of the wonderful people you have in your life. Better yet, celebrate all of the wonderful people who may not be thought of on Valentine's Day. Widows, orphans and singles would love to receive a token showing they are thought of as well. Take the focus off of you. Do something nice for someone else!

Two years ago on Valentine’s Day I got a call early in the morning from a friend. She was stopping by to bring me a hot chocolate from Coffee Bean because she knew it was something I like. She brought me a card and that’s when I realized it was because it was Valentine’s Day! It was super thoughtful and sweet. Last year for Valentine's Day I was invited out to dinner with a group of ladies and although it was last minute for me, I had a blast! We joked and laughed, ate, drank and were totally merry! We had so much fun the server not only took a picture for us but wanted to take a photo with us. We celebrated one another and our sisterhood. More importantly we loved ourselves enough not to diminish Valentine's Day to just being about a romantic partner.

Be a lover of LOVE this Valentine's Day. It’s not just for your "boo" or your "bae". Show love to everyone and show love every day!

 

Living the “Holiday” Life

For most people, the holiday season is looked upon with anticipation and excitement. For others, it’s a reminder of what they don’t have, whether it be a relationship, family, children, money, etc. It can be a very lonely and frustrating time for some.

As a single, unmarried, no-significant other, childless woman--- (wow that sounds worse than it really is), I have spent many a holiday alone. At times it has been just another day, or so I tried to tell myself. At others, it was an adventure visiting other people’s warm and welcoming homes. A few times, I even had folks over to my home. However, there have been those years that I’ve downright dreaded to even think about the holidays approaching.  I know I’m not the only one who has had these experiences.

This season I challenge us all to focus on the positives and embrace where we are in life, while also embracing one another.  Let’s all do our best to focus on others during this season. If we are honest enough to admit it, our own plans and lists usually take center stage. Take a moment to look away and see what other people’s lives are like during this time and do what you can to make them more enjoyable!

Here are some quick tips to help in the process:

1.    Make phone calls to those whom you may have lost contact with or haven’t spoken with in a while. Don’t send a text, or a message on social media, but actually use the phone to dial their number and hear their voice.

2.   Someone recently lost a loved one that needs the presence of others around—invite them over or offer to cook for them in their home.

3.    You know a person that doesn’t have anyone with whom to share the holidays. Don’t just invite them over for dinner, but welcome them into your experience by having them help in the process of whatever you are doing to prepare for the meal.

4.    A recent job loss could have a friend dreading the holidays because of their financial situation—bless their bank account (this can be done anonymously as well).

5.    Someone new to your city/town is unable to “go home” for the holidays. Ask them of a tradition they’ll miss and invite not only the person over to your home, but include the special tradition as well.

6.    The homeless person you pass on they highway or living under the highway could use a meal, money, or clothing—offer them some of the basics you may be taking for granted.

7.    Don’t forget about the elderly! Some are in their homes alone and others are in senior centers, but yet, still feel alone. Make some time to visit them!

I want to leave you with an encounter a lady at church shared with me—we’ll call her Angel. One year, Angel had some extra money around the holidays, which she says rarely happens. She felt it in her heart to bless a homeless man that she would always see around the highway. Angel went and found the man and convinced him to get into her car. He was just as unsure of Angel as she was of him but he finally got in. She took him to a hotel and was able to pay for his stay for a whole week. The lady that checked him in was shocked by her kindness. Angel later found out that the hotel manager wound up helping the homeless man as well.

I share this with you because it is a very good example of how all it takes is one spark to light a fire. Be the spark of kindness and consideration for others this holiday season!

Reach out to others. Consider other people’s circumstances.  And above all, show some love!

Reflections Inspired by Dr. Maya Angelou

A very wise woman once said...

“Love life. Engage in it. Give it all you've got. Love it with a passion because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it.”
― Maya Angelou

....and that is exactly what Dr. Angelou did! She was an extraordinary example to us all showing how to value life, love and leave a legacy.  She's singing, dancing and LIVING with the angels now.

 

When I heard of the passing of one of the most intriguing writers of my lifetime, I paused for a moment. I wasn’t necessarily sad because I felt like she had lived an extremely full and fulfilling life. When I think of Dr. Maya Angelou there are many things that come to mind. I think about how she carried herself. She was dignified y’all! She commanded respect. She was a woman I could look to with pride and a woman I admire for living out life to the fullest.  She left a legacy that spans many years and she has participated in a variety of activities such as singing, dancing, acting, writing, teaching, public speaking and civil rights. On the outside looking in I think Dr. Angelou believed she could do whatever she set her mind to doing. Regardless of whether or not others may have tried to discourage her, she never told herself no.  As a result she LIVED her life. Dr. Angelou did not spend her time being negative, judging other people’s lives, watching someone else live or just waiting to die.  She, like most of us, experienced hardship and pain at certain points, but chose to move beyond those circumstances. She made choices that would lead to her life being completely whole and in the process being inspirational to others.

As I sat reflecting on Dr. Angelou’s life I pondered whether or not I would leave such a legacy. I wondered, “Am I living life, waiting on death or stuck somewhere in between the two?” My life has had many ups and downs, twists and turns and I’m grateful to still be here. But I’m not done living yet! I can admit that in past years I got stuck somewhere between life and death trying to figure things out. I was so busy analyzing everything that happened in the past, I stopped actively DOING anything in the present. Constantly replaying past experiences had me paralyzed. Thankfully, I didn’t stay there. I moved beyond it, stepped out and took new risks that I know will lead to great things. It hasn’t been easy and at times has seemed a bit scary but I’m determined not to place limitations on myself or be gripped by fear. More importantly I do not want to limit God and what He is able to do through me.

We often forget that our lives can affect others. Dr. Maya Angelou’s passing is a wonderful reminder of how one person’s life has the ability to hugely impact the world. I CELEBRATE the life of Dr. Maya Angelou by reflecting upon my own life and the impact I will have on the world. Join me by asking yourself---

Am I living?

Am I waiting on death?

Am I STUCK in between life and death?

What do I need to do to move beyond my fears?

What risks will I take to achieve all that I know is possible?

 

Stop Trying To Erase Your Mistakes

Dear Hubby,

If you know anything about elementary aged children, you know they absolutely LOVE erasers. Having one is sort of like a badge of honor and security blanket all wrapped up into one magical piece of rubber. Years ago, while teaching cursive handwriting to my 2nd grade students I would not allow them to use an eraser. Gasp! What? No erasing!?! Yes, I easily became the most hated person in the world when I took erasers away from students. But I had no other choice, because I wanted my students to know that it was okay to make mistakes. They would erase a hole in the paper if I allowed them to do so! And unfortunately, learning ceases when you’re focused on constantly and frantically trying to hide mistakes.

I was chatting with someone the other day and the conversation made me think about how people have an issue with admitting they’ve made a mistake.  Even when you know you’ve made a mistake there are all of these verbal acrobatic attempts to convince yourself and the other person that it never happened. It made me wonder why we are so caught up with trying to be perfect?

My mom used to tell me, "Do it right the first time so you won't have to do it again." As an adult, I can understand what she was attempting to teach me, but as a child I learned a different meaning. She wanted me to pay attention to what I was doing and to do my best. However, I learned that I couldn’t make mistakes, having to do something again is wrong and things should be done perfectly the first time. We all know that nothing is ever perfect but yet it becomes the overshadowing aspect of our lives. Think about how you feel when you make a mistake. Are you embarrassed? Are you hard on yourself? Do you want other people to point out your mistake? Do you lie about it?

When I taught elementary school, this was one of the biggest things I tried my best to re-program in my students. (Yes, teachers try to undo what the world subconsciously instructs---but that's a whole other blog, so let’s not get off track.) I didn't want my students to be hesitant to make a mistake. I didn't want them to FEAR making a mistake. I didn't want making a mistake to have a lasting affect on their fragile self–esteem. The goal was to show them they could make a mistake and learn from it!  It’s pretty hard to learn from something you have erased and tried your best to make sure that no one else knows was there in the first place. Even more important than other people knowing it was there is the fact that you aren't able to go back, look at it and grow from it. You’ve erased it. Now, you can’t SEE what needed to be done differently and how you could have improved upon it. And thus the lesson is lost.

If you don’t get it right the first time, you CAN keep on trying until you get the results you want. I taught my students to put a line through the mistake. By simply putting a line through it, they were acknowledging the mistake was there. A whole lot of time wasn’t wasted trying to hide it, erase it and act like it never happened. The line through it meant they realized it wasn’t final. Putting a line through it still allowed them to see the mistake so when they made another attempt, they would be less likely to make the same mistake.

Ask yourself, “Is there something in my life I need to put a line through?”

 

Signed,

Learning From My Mistakes

 

Your thoughts and experience about mistakes and perfection are welcome in the comments below.

 

Official Launch & Welcome

This blog/website is a labor of love, literally and figuratively. Late nights and long mornings have been spent to create a space for celebrating love, marriage and the family. For as long as I can remember, relationships have always been important to me. I value them and do my best to invest in them no matter the type--- friends, co-workers, romantic, family, etc. We were not created to live on an island all alone.

We now live in a world where relationships are under attack on a daily basis. As well, in the digital age, we have lost the art and practice of effectively communicating with one another. I really don’t want to see communication die! I'd like to revive it, put an oxygen mask on it, and breathe new life into it. Dear Hubby is meant to be that life support system.

Dear Hubby came about from me having thoughts that sometimes wound up being conversations in my head. I’ve decided to share those conversations with you. My hope is that as I express myself and encourage others to follow suit, we can begin to decrease the conversations we have with ourselves and instead engage in meaningful interactions with others. Hopefully the knowledge and experience I’ve gained over the years will help someone else. We have to start somewhere, right? I believe so, and I’m counting on you to be a part of the movement!

With that being said, welcome to the Dear Hubby Community!  -LL